SOLD!

It may not look like much but this bed represents forward motion. When I say forward motion: healing, restoration, and obedience. Today’s verse is: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” – Romans 12:2 KJV (September 13, 2023)

I started writing this post September 28, 2023. The scripture of that day was: “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” – Philippians 4:9 KJV

In the reflection part of the Bible App YouVersion for that day it asked, ” What is God prompting you to put into practice today?” It gave three responses to choose from or you could write your own option.

The third response “To sacrifice something that is not bringing Him honor,” jumped out at me.

You see, the mattress in the picture is what came to mind. I had it since 2015. It was a comfy, memory foam mattress. Queen size. I found the frame for it on Facebook Marketplace when I moved into my place in 2017. The mattress was originally purchased during my second marriage. The part of the marriage when we moved near A Place Called Home in South Los Angeles. I took that as a confirmation of sorts. Where you’re moving is a place “called” home. You might call it home but it’s just a place called home. I took that to mean this place we were about to move into would be temporary. A pitstop on our forever forward journey. Upward journey. It’s not home. It’s a place called home. The place itself was beautiful. There was so much room. There was a room for my son, a dishwasher, an upstairs and downstairs. It was a complete and total blessing. The home was an Abode Community. It reminded me of the scripture, “abide in me and I will make my abode in you.” How awesome to think God would make His abode in us! 2 1/2 baths! The place felt like new. Felt like it was made just for us. There was a feeling that if we could just get out of Skid Row, we could leave our problems behind us.

Our bedroom was a nice size. I consulted with my hubby on the type of bed frame. The mattress we agreed on was memory foam. I couldn’t wait! But, when we got it, he didn’t like it. He felt like it was too hard to get out of bed. I watched as he would demonstrate. He couldn’t just bounce out of bed. It took more effort as it gently formed to his body. I didn’t take his complaints seriously. I felt like it was just something that was new to him. Surely, he would just learn to like it. This mattress is quality. You must not be used to quality. You’ve been living in Skid Row too long, I thought to myself.

I wasn’t interested in the fact that he didn’t like it. I wasn’t interested in why he didn’t like it. My thinking was, “Well, it’s here now. Get used to it.” If tables were turned, I don’t think I would’ve appreciated someone telling me that. I also felt like it was a small price to pay for everything he had already put me through. It’s me, or the mattress. If he would choose to get another mattress, he would be choosing that mattress over me. There were some things I just wasn’t willing to sacrifice.

But for God?

I moved into my place in Pasadena. Another blessing. One bedroom, one bath. This time as a single separated self. Not nearly as much room but I was determined to hang on to my mattress. My bed. My sanctuary. It was my one place of refuge in a toxic marriage. The frame was gone. I would have to get another. I would fit my son’s bed in there too. It didn’t matter that once I did, there wouldn’t be that much room to move. So, when my son stayed away and my daughter was away at college, I got rid of that twin bed. I had wanted to get a memory foam mattress for that twin bed originally too. But alas, we had agreed not to. So, when the choice came down to which bed to get rid of, it was a no-brainer. Also, I was able to get these fold up beds from a friend who was moving. I could use those for when guests would visit (i.e. my kids).

I was thankful for my bed during the pandemic. Again, it would be a wonderful welcoming place of respite during an eternity of shutdown and the unknown. God’s grace. But it’s a new season. When I would talk to my estranged husband, he still would talk about how he didn’t like the mattress. It would just be further confirmation that we weren’t meant to be. I choose my mattress. We will not be moving forward with our marriage. Irreconcilable differences. He don’t like my mattress.

Well, it took fasting and praying for God to show me that I needed to sacrifice the mattress. I was able to see that it wasn’t practical for me to keep it. My son telling me he was finally coming home to visit, helped me to see this as well. Before the pandemic, it was customary that he would come home at least once a year. But after things started opening back up, this would be the first time since 2019 he would be able to visit. I was excited when he told me.

And without the mattress I’d have more room to tape self-tape auditions in my bedroom. Something else that the pandemic changed. Casting auditions are now very rarely in person. You can count on generally being expected to submit the self-tape first. If you are fortunate to get a call back, that’s when you might be graced with an in-person appointment. The challenge for me with the self-tape auditions are the horizontal full body shots. I just didn’t have that much blank wall space and room without casting seeing more of my apartment than I felt comfortable disclosing.

Another reason to get rid of the mattress is I’m only one person sleeping in a bed clearly meant for two. One side was being wasted. And then the issue of me not taking care of it properly. I was not being a good steward over what God had blessed me with. I would let clothes pile up on it. Not just clothes but stuff. Like it was a table. A table for storage. I got used to just dumping stuff on it with the promise to deal with it later. And then when money got too tight to do laundry, the clothes were a mix of dirty and clean on that bed-table, bable (?) Not to mention the bedding that hadn’t been washed in months. The favorite sheets on the bed were worn. Holes started to manifest in the soft jersey material. The color of the sheets were a non-descript dark gray. So, you couldn’t see if they were dingy. It was definitely time for a change.

Eight years I had that mattress. The eighth year symbolizes new beginnings and I sold it! Sept. 12th I posted the ad on Facebook Marketplace and Sept. 13th, SOLD! I was concerned at first because I started getting inquiries right away and found out they were scams. They were telling me they were interested only to get my information for telemarketing purposes (?) I realized it was a scam when I would give them my phone number and two of them in a row said that my phone number wasn’t a verified number. I then Googled the message I kept receiving from them. Big as day, it explained it was a scam. I was very careful to make sure I was talking to a human after that. The family that bought it was very sweet. A Latino couple with older kids that helped move all the pieces of the frame along with the mattress. They even gave me my asking price! Cash. I thought about how long I had been keeping this married couple from being able to enjoy the blessing of this mattress. Well, no more. It is sold. It will not be an idol in my life. It will not be something I place before God. It was not something that was bringing God honor in my life. Gotta go. God is good. God is patient with me. So patient. Now, what else has to go?

#memoryfoammattress #sacrifice #love #obedience #Christianwalk #john14verse23 #skidrow #toxicmarriage #abode #healing